Expecting Adam by Martha Beck is a memoir of the author's pregnancy with her son. She finds out about halfway through her pregnancy that her son is going to be born with Down Syndrome. Beck and her husband are both P.h.D students at Harvard at the time and shock all their professors, peers and the staff at the student medical center with their decision to keep their baby. Beck is very clear that she is pro-choice, but states that for many reasons that she can't explain, she just couldn't abort this baby.
Throughout the book, Beck describes how she felt the presence of supernatural beings helping her through her pregnancy, particularly when she was very sick and lonely or facing extreme criticism for her choice to keep her baby. I can't say that I've every felt a divine presence holding my hand or anything like that, but I have felt like there were regular people that reached out to me under the guidance of God. Once when I was in college I got locked out of my house while my husband was out of town and had to hitchhike 10-miles to my sister-in-law's apartment (she was a student too and didn't have a car at the time). I had tried calling a cab, but our sleepy little college town didn't have taxis running in the summer. Anyway, while I began walking on the shoulder of the highway, I began praying that a woman would stop and pick me up. Within a couple of minutes a young woman did in fact stop for me. She said that she normally would never pick up a hitchhiker, but a voice inside her head told her to. Beck says there is no difference between human love and divine love and that "any person who acts out of love is acting for God."
I have a 21-month-old daughter who has special needs, and while her condition is nothing like Down Syndrome, reading this book made me face how I am feeling about my daughter's difficulties (she has loose tendons in her ankles that have prevented her from learning to walk) and was actually therapeutic. The friend that loaned me the book highlighted this quote, which I would like to share: "I am always perversely happy to hear that a friend has been knocked upside the head by some unpleasant event. I am not glad they've experienced pain, but I am profoundly grateful for the down-to-earth compassion that merges only when people face their pain and absorb it into the fabric of their lives."
I could go on and on about all the different things this book made me think about, like abortion and genetic testing to name a few, but I'll just leave it at saying it was a very though provoking book. I would recommend this book to others, but not to anyone who is currently pregnant.
2 comments:
This book was recommended to me a few years ago. I haven't read it but came across it when I was unpacking. I bought it back when I bought every book instead of using the library. But, I will not be reading it for a while since I will be in preggo/ new mama land for a while.
It was interesting to read your review, as some of the items you highlighted about this book were more in the background for me. Martha Beck's writing style struck me, as did her ability to compellingly describe emotions and emotionally laden situations in a logical and intriguing way.
Several months after having read this book, the messages that linger for me include the importance of accepting others for their differences, and the idea that so much of our time is spent trying to impress others and play silly social games when there are much more important purposes to our lives. Also, I admire the way that Martha Beck recognized that a challenge placed before her resulted in her life and her perspective changing for the better.
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