Saturday, February 16, 2008

More Books and The Pleasures of Not Reading





I have more books to tell you about. Should we do the good or the bad first?



Let's do bad? I'm the one who is "bad." I have chosen not to finish the book for tomorrow night's book club. I knew into the first chapter this wasn't my type of book. People in the book club I run and LOVING IT. So to be fair you may love it too. But, March, for me was like being locked out on a cold winter night. I just couldn't get into it! It is is historical fiction. Which I do enjoy. But, the author wrote it like you were living in that time. I mean by this that the language she used was more accurate to the era. I could get past this. But the main character. I didn't like him. It has been a long, long, time since I read Little Women (this book is supposed to be the Father's story from this book) but I don't think that I pictured the father this way. I did not like how he treated his wife. Never really opening up to her. Maybe I missed something in Little Women. But, I just didn't like this guy. Amazon people really liked it. It has 122 reviews and 4/5 star average. So good luck if you decide to read it. Maybe it was that I didn't care for the author's style because really I don't care to read anymore of her books. I just felt like it was too romantic in ideas and notions and not "real." Sorry, I know I am so vague. I did skim the rest of the book for the plot and have a good idea what happens to lead discussion tomorrow night. This was a library book, so yay, no cost outlay.



Second book I am not going to finish. Every Mother Is A Daughter This book I can't get into because I don't identify with the characters. I think I would like it if I had a good relationship with my mom and could relate to them as a mother daughter pair. But, I just am not coming into the book with shared understanding. I see great potential in this book and that it could be very touching. But, I was not the right audience. I can't encourage or discourage you to read this or not. I could see how a lot of people would like it. I just wasn't the target audience, I think. Unfortunately, I bought this book. I had a gift card and wanted to try something new. I was caught up in the knitting pattern and recipe inclusions. They weren't anything to advertise. Just a couple here and then there and that was it. But, that is what half.com is for right?



One more thing on not finishing books. This. is. so. not. me. I always finish books I don't like. I feel like I have no right to an opinion unless I finish it. But, lately I am giving myself more grace and realizing that reading is my enjoyment. I don't know if it is me trying to extend forgiveness and grace to myself or turning 30 this year. But, I realize I don't have to read something I am not enjoying. Freeing!



The good: The Birth House This book is two big thumbs up. I really enjoyed it and felt in a lot of ways it was very well researched and accurate. It is about an early 1900's midwife who only catches 4 or so babies. So she is an occasional midwife. This is so much about her and her learning to accept herself and grow into her own space. From the outside you see how strong and true she is. I identified with her a lot. My favorite part of this book is the struggle between her and a local obstetrician who is trying to shut her down. It amazed me how this is exactly how this struggle plays out today. It was affirming that just because of attack midwifery can't die out. It is as old as dirt and can't be snuffed. I think lots of people would like this book and that it would be able to demonstrate the struggle of midwives and the practice of traditional midwives fairly accurately. I would say that today's midwives use a lot more research. But the thread of evidence based care is the same then and now. You do what works. You listen to the mama and you respect the wisdom of lifetimes of babies being born. I think you could read this book and not feel like home birth is being thrown in your face. I have to admit I cried a lot during this book. It reminded me of all the things I miss. My apprenticeship, the feeling of being at a birth, and the joy of pregnant women being nearby! I cried about not being in a place where I get to do my life's work right now. I questioned my decision to take the "safe, legal" nurse midwifery route. But, I am finishing this book with peace knowing that in time I will be catching babies being at births again and doing what I am called to do. I hate learning patience.

(This post is lifted from my original blog, The Mama Chronicles)

Thursday, February 14, 2008

A Thousand Splendid Suns


This was a book that I simply could not put down, even though through most of it I was sick to my stomach. Sick because while this is a fictional story, I know from other sources that it is an accurate portrayal of what life has really been like for many Afghan women and Muslim women in other countries. I have a real problem with a culture that treats women like caged animals--unable to even leave their houses without being escorted by a male relative. Hosseini also brings to life the horrors of war and political turmoil and the choices they force people to make.
Beyond the cultural and historical context Hosseini creates, the stories of the two heroines and how their lives become intertwined are heartbreaking as well. I found it very interesting that while the early lives of both Mariam and Laila were very different, they shared having mothers that seemed to not want them. I wonder if Hosseini's intention in creating this parallel was to make it more believable to the reader that they could bond relatively quickly and become one another's confidants.
I also found it interesting that while Laila was educated and Mariam was not, they both became dependant on a man for their survival. Of course in Laila's situation it was mainly due to a raging war and an oppresive atmosphere for women, but I think that even in America this still happens to a degree. Often educated women, women who once had good jobs, give all that up to become professional mothers. Suddenly, they find themselves completely dependant on their husbands or partners for financial security. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with this, I am one of these women myself, I am just saying it can sometimes make you feel a little bit like a second-class citizen. Other times in this country we see women use their talents and education to back up their man. I happened to be listening to AM radio this morning and caught a little bit of Rush Limbaugh's show. He was saying that the only reason Hillary Clinton backed up Bill during all his scandals was so she could eventually have her turn to run (he was also using all kinds of adjectives to describe her which I guess are supposed to be bad in a women, but would probably be seen as evoking power in men). I don't know how fair of a statement that is about the Clintons, but maybe it says something about our country--that a woman can't even get the chance to run for president unless her husband has already held the office and everyone knows he will be in the White House right alongside her. But I digress and in all fairness, it really isn't fair to make such comparisons between the plights of Afghan and American women as we have so many more choices and opportunities, but I like to try to relate the books I read to my life and what is on my mind.
I really loved this book, especially the ending and the message it gave of how the human spirit can endure almost anything and still keep shining. I would love to get comments from anyone else who has read it and see what you found interesting or how it related to your life.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Growing Girls



Growing Girls by Jeanne Marie Laskas. I really liked this book. I was reading reviews on Amazon a minute ago and some people had some really horrible things to say about this book. There was one very nasty review of how they felt this book was so insensitive to the Chinese as a race. What I think they missed was that this book focuses on us the moms. And how we feel and the thoughts that go through our heads. I felt like this book was very honest. The parts that disturbed the other reader were related to the feelings expressed by the author regarding her adopted Chinese daughters. I don't know that I would feel very different from the author if I was struggling with the monumental questions of raising children who had been discarded because of their gender and figuring whether I should strive to help them be Chinese, American, both and to what degrees. What you do see is her love for her kids and her struggle with knowing how to do this whole mothering thing without inflicting too much damage on the children we are entrusted with, either through birth or adoption. This book did not make me think so much about adoption as I felt the focus was on us as mothers and the things that are important to us. Like how to have an open relationship with our daughters, how much they should know of the truth of life and what they should be sheltered from, specifically birth, death, and rejection. Although she ties a lot of these themes to adoption and her children's unique experience I was able to relate on many levels. This was a fun read that was a bit slow in the first chapter but then was a fast ride. I really enjoyed the author's voice and her willingness to basically think out loud. The vulnerability was on every page. I like it when I read a autobiographical book and put it down feeling like I would like to have the author as a friend or neighbor. This was a surprise find for me, I picked it up at the library on impulse. But, for you I would suggest going online and reserving it!

(This post is lifted from my original blog, The Mama Chronicles)